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For many, Mother’s Day brings with it a lot of varied emotions. As humans, we have complicated emotions. We are often times expected to feel only love, nurture, trust, care, and adoration on Mother’s Day, but we’re also allowed to feel under-appreciated, unseen, lonely, disappointed, detached, and mournful. Feeling one emotion does not negate the other emotions we may be feeling simultaneously. It’s important to allow yourself the time and space to feel and process everything. And as you do, I encourage this: Mother’s Day is not a day about just mothers. Mother’s Day, at its core, is a day to value and appreciate nurturing figures in our lives. Yes, this includes our mothers. But this also includes our step parents, our grandparents, our in-laws, our aunts, our sisters, our dog mom friends, our foster parents, our friends struggling to conceive, our loved ones whose own mothers have passed, our friends and family with strained relationships, our neighbors. As humans, we all nurture each other to grow and thrive. As a little girl, every Mother’s Day morning, I would sneak to the neighbor’s side yard, plucking roses from their garden. I would then secretly attempt to make breakfast – throwing eggs in a blender to scramble them. Looking back, I have to imagine this was no secret. What is quiet to a seven-year-old most certainly is not quiet to a mother trying to sleep in. But none-the-less, every Mother’s Day morning, my mom would pretend to be surprised as I woke her up with eggs and roses. Mother’s Day was always about one thing: celebrating my mom, my nurturer, and all she’s done for me. I used to think Mother’s Day meant showering her with gifts. I mean, truly, if I could buy my mom an island – I would. But for now, she’ll have to settle for a tropical candle. This time of year, it’s to be expected. I look around and see advertisements galore encouraging us to “spoil her” with the “one thing she wants” referring to expensive jewelry, or clothes, or make up, or flowers. It wasn’t until recently that I realized Mother’s Day is not about “spoiling her.” My mom didn’t care about being showered in gifts. She cared about being seen, being valued, and spending quality time with others. As a first-time mom, Mother’s Day this year holds a special place in my heart. Celebrating with my three-month-old, I feel like I have a new understanding of my own mother. I don’t want gifts. I don’t want flowers. I want words of affirmation so I can feel valued for the work I put in every day. I want quality time, because time never seemed to fly by so quickly until my son came into the world. I want to feel the unconditional love that comes with being a nurturer. And while I will be celebrating with my little one this year, feeling seen for the first time in my life as one who nurtures, I will also be celebrating others while I allow myself to feel every emotion that comes with Mother’s Day and the various relationships I have with moms throughout the world, myself included. To check out more blogs, apparel, & other causes head back over to Inclusive We.

“Miss, I am sorry but I can’t attend class tonight. My mom has been out of work and we just got kicked out of our apartment. I don’t know what will happen and we may have to go back to the DR. I am very sorry to miss class again but can you please let me know what work I can do so I do not fall behind?” I read through the email twice and sighed with frustration. Not frustration at the student but for the student. I knew this nineteen year old’s mom had lost her job because of Covid and while she was trying to find work, her oldest son stayed home during the day to watch his younger siblings and took night school classes in the evenings. This was not the first such email I had received from a student. They varied in detail but the message was the same: “I am carrying more weight for my family than I have ever carried before, and I don’t know how to make it all work.” Having Grace I don’t know anyone whose life over the past two years has been easier than it was before March of 2020. Our daily struggles with loneliness, loss, sickness, financial worries, addiction, and grief have been magnified through months of isolation, disconnection, and uncertainty. As a teacher I have seen students supporting their families in ways they never expected while still showing up for class. For some students, showing up was all they could do; a black box on my screen that voiced “here” when attendance was taken, and then silence for the next eighty minutes. What could I do? I asked myself that several times a day. I can’t solve their problems, but is there anything that could be done to alleviate their pain and fear as their world of certainties comes crashing down? Structure - that’s what I can give them. Structure, routine, and maybe even distraction from their lives by teaching history, telling them engaging stories that take them to another time and place. This didn’t quite seem right. Yes, all of these things are incredibly important in the classroom whether the world is on fire around us or not. It just didn’t seem like the answer I was searching for. I thought about what I would ask of others in my life. Here I was a grown, educated, professional woman with a strong network of friends and family and yet I was still overwhelmed by the heaviness of my struggles. What could others give me that would make me feel seen and supported? Grace. This single word encompasses so much. What I Can Offer I can give them grace, understanding, and the benefit of the doubt. I can assume that each student is doing their best, whatever it looks like at that moment. Of course there will be some who take advantage of this, who are able to do the work, to show up for class, to participate, and still choose not to. But how can I possibly make that judgment call when I don’t know the details of their home lives, of their mental health, or of their support systems? So that’s what I did. I extended deadlines, I accepted extremely late work, I did not push anyone to use their cameras, I listened when students spoke to me of their lives. I just assumed that everyone was struggling more than usual and needed a little extra humanity more than they needed to learn history. Helpful Resources for Teachers Having a unique teacher perspective during the pandemic encouraged me to research what it means to have grace, what self care really is, and how we can give that not just to others, but to ourselves as well. Some of the resources I found to be helpful include this article from Unicef on what self care means in the classroom and how to avoid burnout when you are constantly pouring from an empty cup, something teachers are prone to do. Additionally, it is crucial for school leadership to acknowledge the difficult situation teachers are in as they attempt to navigate a completely new school environment (online, in-person, a hybrid version of the two, and the fact that the pandemic has markedly changed our students and their needs). Edutopia also has useful resources for teachers and administrators to navigate this new world of education. Probably the most helpful for my colleagues and me has been the “informal” networking that has occurred: talking to friends, finding social network groups, finding others in a similar position and listen as you each share your stories of triumphs and struggles in and out of the classroom. One of the biggest takeaways from my time Covid teaching is the realization that what schools need during a pandemic is actually what schools have needed for a long time: healthy, realistic expectations of teachers and administrators; smaller (and by extension more productive and manageable) class sizes; consistent access to technology for all students; increased pay for teachers; a systemic shift in what education should look like in 21st century America. And grace. I worked to offer this beyond the classroom. It has not always been easy but it seems more important than ever to reach outside of ourselves and extend a little extra kindness, especially to those we may feel are not always deserving and that includes ourselves. Sometimes this is all we can give and in a world where we feel increasingly disconnected from one another maybe this is more than enough. In the end, the student had to move back to the DR with his family, where his internet was inconsistent and weak. I only had contact a couple more times with him that semester during which he did everything he could to complete a few more assignments. Due to circumstances out of his control he was only able to attend about half of the classes, not for lack of trying. He still passed. To keep up with Alice's future blogs + check out the orgs we get behind that support & appreciate the hard work teachers are forever putting in, save this link.

Women's History Month March is one of my favorite months of the year. And yes, it’s mainly because it’s Women’s History Month! No qualms about it, the celebration of women everywhere provides the much-needed reminder that femininity is what we, as those who identify as women, make it. From March Madness and watching the Women’s UK Wildcats basketball team win the SEC championship for the first time in 40 years to celebrating the birth of the musically majestic Mariah Carey, March is our declaration of power of the pussy! Sorry, not sorry in event my use of the word “pussy” offended you. I think it’s high time women reclaim it from those who use it as a derogatory term and instead wear it like the pristine badge of honor it rightfully is. If we can do it with ‘bitch’ we can do it with pussy. Which reminds me of the timeless words of national treasure Betty White, “Why do people say, ‘Grow some balls’? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you really wanna get tough, grow a pussy. Those things really take a pounding!” And we do! We walk a narrowly fine line between bossy and assertive, demanding and confident, bitchy and bold. We consider multiple realms, avenues and angles instead of relying upon greed while considering the whole and not just the bottom line when making decisions. We navigate the treacherous waters of male ego, fragility and mediocrity like Moana on her way to restore the heart of Te Fiti. Spoiler alert: Just as Moana made her way through trials, tribulations and mansplaining of a demigod in order to confidently return the heart and vitality of Te Fiti, we as women have to pound confidence into ourselves and other women to restore the vitality of our innate power. If Moana can do it, so can we! Frankly, it all starts with confidence. We as women typically do not assert ourselves like male counterparts because we were often praised for being well behaved, helpful, or quiet. Authors Katty Kay and Claire Shipman found genetic and gender factors play a role in the differences between male and female levels of confidence in their book The Confidence Code. However, they maintain, “Making a distinction between talent and effort is critical”. Therefore, creating a growth mindset in women towards confidence evens the playing field. We may not get a spike of testosterone when a risk pays off, but we can measure our success through the eyes of effort and improvement, which has the extra-added bonus of instilling confidence as something we can control and get better at overtime. When that takes hold, mastery of confidence begins to radiate itself onto every woman we interact with like sunshine on a field of sunflowers. As our sunflowers of confidence bloom freely, we are now ready for those sunflower seeds to branch off and take root into activities that will catapult women into positions of equality and equity. The following charts depict the utter necessity of women to confidently take their power in the realm of wage and wealth equality. The chart on the left illustrates that the .15-.45 cent difference between every dollar white men are paid compared to women of different races. Conversely, the chart on the right denotes the disparity of assets amongst races. The racial wealth gap is the product of many factors, whereas the wage gap is having confidence of our inherent worth when negotiating our salaries. Like Mama always says, “What’s the worst they’re going to do, tell you no?” Hence why it’s called negotiating. You already did the hard part by getting the job, now make them pay you what you’re worth and add tax! Let's Talk About TAX Speaking of taxes, we as women have the ability to change the wealth gap between the sexes by the opposition of being pounded with a quarry of fees, know as the pink tax, on female necessities like shampoo, deodorant and tampons. The Pink Tax even extends to services such as going to the dry cleaners and contribute to costing women over $1,300-$1,500 a year. Primaries are coming up and if your officials haven’t addressed this issue or don’t stand with California Rep. Jackie Speier’s Pink Tax Repeal Act either call them out on their blatant misogyny or vote for the candidate who understands how unnecessary it is to place this tax on women. Furthermore, this tax comes as an extra pounding especially when women are denied access to making decisions about our bodies and forced to spend what little dollars we make on the children abandoned by fathers who can pick and choose when they want to assume financial responsibility, but I digress. This isn’t about the limitations put on us by those with tender testicles but is instead about what the power of the pussy empowers us as women to do. Turning Knowledge into POWER As I was saying, women have innate skills that transfer to business like flights to paradise. If we can manage all the monthly utilities, mortgage, insurance, doctor appointments, kids’ extracurricular and play dates, we can stake our claim in the world of real estate and investing. Sites like investopedia, clevergirlfinance, hermoney and Kiplinger provide the basics of money and money markets, how best to utilize your money and how to pay down debt. Once you become familiar with financial terms and the stock market, sites such as Ellevest, SoFi and Robinhood provide the tools to turn knowledge into power. Let’s be honest, ladies. If we can repeatedly walk around in 6-inch heels for hours at a time, we can get our money together! However, we must first understand that our journey with money looks differently than those within the penis club. On average, women live longer which means we have to become confident with taking more risks with our money in order to be financially secure during retirement. The best way to achieve this necessary confidence is, you guessed it, to take more financial risk. I’m not saying to go all in on a tip you heard from a friend. Conversely, sites like Acorns, that round up every dollar you spend and invests the difference, allows us to reduce our perception of risk and gain greater financial confidence. Trust me, that confidence goes a long. Couple confidence with our propensity to research a good deal, having patience in times of uncertainty and volatility, while investing in environmental and women lead endeavors, it’s no surprise that women outdo men by almost 2% annually in their investments. Maya Angelou said it best: In other words, it’s within our phenomenal, feminine nature to get rich, bitch! The power of the pussy demands that we pound our financial power straight to the bank. We define what femininity is and if we decide that it looks like getting our money together so the only men we have to look to for our financial security are green-faced Benjamin Franklin’s and Teddy Roosevelt’s, then that’s our business. And we do our business phenomenally. In the words of the late great poet laureate Maya Angelou: I walk into a room Just as cool as you please, And to a man, The fellows stand or Fall down on their knees. Then they swarm around me, A hive of honey bees. I say, It’s the fire in my eyes, And the flash of my teeth, The swing in my waist, And the joy in my feet. I’m a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That’s me. Check out www.inclusivewe.com for our latest apparel campaign CLOSE THE GAP. Profits from this line go directly to orgs that support closing the wealth gap such as: CWWG & NinetyToZero.

Happy Black history Month! The father of Black History, Dr. Carter G. Woodson created Negro History Week in 1926 in order to have “people of all ethnic and social backgrounds [to] discuss the black experience” (ASALH). In 1986, Congress passed “National Black history Month” into law stating that “the foremost purpose of Black History Month is to make all Americans aware of this struggle for freedom and equal opportunity” (Library of Congress). I’ve taken many African American Studies courses during college and I can tell you that it changed my life! Not because I was learning about the uncensored history of my race since their first step on American soil for the first time in my 20 year education. Oh no. Finally learning that Black people had a history blew my mind as much as realizing that history, much like beauty, is in fact in the eye of the beholder. Look at the name history. It’s literally “Hi[s] Story”. Fun fact, every form of slavery that’s existed during humankind from the enslaved Israelites by the Egyptians to enslaved Africans in the Trans Atlantic Slave trade all had one thing in common. Captors prevented enslaved people from learning how to read and write. Although punishments for reading and writing were harsher depending upon the captors, the idea was to prevent any other narrative than theirs from being told. Thus, all history and particularly American History is the “story” of those who held the ability to document their experience and not the experience of those they physically, mentally, and emotionally abused daily. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but that is the history of America and to not teach about it continues to erase the black experience from existence and perpetuates a false narrative of American History. Now then, if talk of slavery or any of this makes you uncomfortable in the least, please take a second and ask yourself why. If any of this makes you think your child/children should not have to learn about how the black experience is woven into the fabric of American History, also ask yourself why. Then please ask yourself why, if this was in fact the case, was your first response to side with slave owners and not the many abolitionists that fought to end slavery. Hence why the of teaching Black History year round is an absolute necessity. American History should teach everyone that an entire race of people were not and are not inferior, to teach slavery through the accurate lense of those who wrongfully enslaved a race of men, women, and children, those who helped enslaved Africans obtain their freedom, that, that Black History is more than the famous people that made a difference, that the black experience is really the American experience, and that we can do far more together than apart. George Santayana once said ‘to know your future you must know your past’. It’s clear that history has a way of repeating itself. Never thought I see another fanny pack after 1993, yet here we are. Learning and understanding Black History equips us with knowing that the police system in this country started when slave owners paid poor white men to keep an eye on and regulate the actions of enslaved individuals. Without ever learning that and using the information wisely, the police could eventually have locations in every city or town and regulate the descendants of enslaved people and shoot or even kill them with impunity. Oh wait…(#AmirLocke). Speaking of police brutality, it gives me great hope to see kids of all races in the street protesting no-knock warrants and the unnecessary violence of police is cities around the country. However, children have made their way to the streets and brought about change through their efforts since the 1960s. The Birmingham Children Crusade of 1963, featured thousands of children and young people who participated in multiple non-violent protests and demonstrations. Although they remained peaceful and non-violent through the streets of Birmingham, AL, police officers were not and cameras caught grown men spray children with powerful water hoses, hit them batons, threaten them with police dogs as well as arrest and detain kids as young as seven for days. Seeing children treated this way, however, brought national attention to what was happening in Birmingham, and how Black people were being treated across the South. This event became one of the major factors in the success of the Civil Rights Movement, one that directly affected change. A year later, President Lyndon B. Johnson sighed the Civil Rights Act of 1964 with Martin Luther King, Jr. by his side. Black history is American history. If you’re a fan of women and women’s rights, you might want to take an interest in Dorothy Heights. We’re all familiar with the distinguished gentlemen of black history and civil rights, commonly referred to as the “Big Six”. Black History Month is here to recognize their female counterpart, the Shirley MacLaine of the Rat Pack and the only female organizer of the March on Washington where MLK famously delivered his I Have A Dream Speech. Heights was also the representative for the only women’s organization featured at the pivotal civil rights event. Unsung heroes who paved the way for many of our normalized attitudes of today who had to be the first to say, this ain’t right. For instance, you know that document you have to sign before a medical procedure can be done to take and test any tissues or cells from your body? Today’s common sense notion of informed consent is thanks in part to Henrietta Lacks. Although her infamous ovarian cancer cells increased exponentially and provided advancements in the drug treatment of polio, Parkinson’s and leukemia, the HeLa cells were taken and used in countless medical research studies for decades without her consent or financial compensation to her family. That’s messed up, and we don’t ever have to worry about today because of her. If any of that was new information for you, I think we can agree that one-month, especially the shortest month of the entire year, may not be enough time to learn critical aspects of Black History and should instead be taught as plain and simple American History. Let’s be honest, even what is taught about Black History throughout these 28 days is merely a morsel of the black experience and the struggle for freedom and opportunity, which is the main point of the celebration. Black History is American History. It is not critical race theory and should definitely not be left out of the any conversation or teachings that pertain to the accurate retelling of this country’s development. Luckily we have the power to vote for school board members who will teach children about our nation’s history truthfully in this year’s upcoming elections. Click here if you need to register to vote. If you’re already registered, look up and research the views of the nominees and make sure they mandate Black History be taught year round.

In honor of Black History Month, we will be doing a monthly (year round) feature of the many integral black educators, writers, politicians, artists, activists, & organizers who have & continue to magnify & embody the importance of protecting & celebrating black culture, their many sacrifices, & history. This history would not exist without these contributors, and our goal is to consistently elevate & honor the truth of these sacrifices, PROTECT their rights, advocate for correcting the injustices committed against them, & acknowledge the immense beauty & knowledge they have blessed our nation with. Each month, profits from these items will be donated to organizations that specifically support the prosperity, progression, & protection of black culture & history. In February 2022, we are featuring Gloria Jean Watkins (1952-2021), known by her pen name Bell Hooks, a magical author, intersectional feminist, scholar, & social activist who examined the connections between race, gender, & class. Hooks taught us "All About Love" that "Feminism is for Everybody", & the importance of "Talking Back: Thinking Feminist, Thinking Black". (Links to each of these books go directly to black owned, online bookstores).

You are enough with or without a specific new year’s resolution. You still deserve to have an incredible new year that is full of peace & love. If you don’t have the mental capacity or space to be over reflective today, that is absolutely acceptable too! You don’t always have to be healing. Your existence alone is worth celebrating too. Your body & mind have carried you through an immensely difficult year. Surviving is enough. Your body is VALID & wonderful & deserves to take up space in this world peacefully and neutrally. If you do decide to create New Year’s resolutions we hope that they involve: more compassion for yourself & for others honoring all the progress you've made more time dedicated to rest & self care eating things that make you really happy & nourish your body participating in activities that feed your soul deeply connecting with loved ones in real life forgiving yourself more asserting and honoring your boundaries prioritizing your mental health We hope that you will allow room for mistakes in 2022 because we’re all imperfect & surviving & learning & growing, and we hope that you understand you’re not alone in this cosmic realm. At inclusiveWe we will to continue to listen to our communities in need, maintain open hearts for learning always, fight for justice, prioritize & advocate for mental health & access to mental health care, & strive to continuously expand & evolve the work we are doing alongside you with intersectionality & inclusivity as the forefront of our goals at all times. Your existence & insights matter. We cannot do this work without one another. Happiest of New Years to you whether you’re chillin’ in pj pants tonight or covered head to toe in glitter.

It’s that time of year again and the holidays are in full swing, wrapped with gatherings with friends and family like garland on a Christmas tree. Despite whatever holiday you and yours celebrate, one thing is for sure: the spirit of the holidays is often in the alcohol that gives us a break. Though some don’t need to drink in order for their days to be merry and bright, you may still find yourself in need of an Uber or Lyft to get you home safe and sound late at night. In honor of December being National Drunk and Drugged Driving Prevention Month, it is imperative that we all make the commitment now to either steer clear of libations or be ready to adhere to the terms and conditions of rideshare services. I have had the extreme pleasure of providing over 3,000 rides to drunk and sober people alike for over 5 years and actually still have genuine love for it. However, there are a slew of things that I would like everyone to know that will help us all enjoy the magic that is the holiday season. DISCLAIMER: The following list stems from my own individual experiences as a rideshare provider and some are the actual terms and conditions from Uber and Lyft. 1. The mask mandate is STILL in effect for both Lyft and Uber. No mask, no ride, no exceptions. I know this one is a bummer, especially for the 22-year-old frat boy who berated me for five miles and others who don’t believe the pandemic is real. Either way, I temporarily live with my immune- compromised mother and my father will jump out of his grave to whoop my a** if I get my mother sick. Additionally, I use Uber myself and know you have to check a box that says you have a mask and are going to wear it properly for the entirety of the ride before your request for a ride even goes through. I don’t care what your previous driver let you do or who you think you are. We’re two years into this pandemic and honestly this is the worst group project I’ve ever been apart of. Consequently, if you don’t want to wear a mask or don’t have one, I highly suggest you walk to your destination or try Jesus, because I throw hands. Just kidding, but I have and will leave you where you stand, even on a cold winter’s night. No, your shirt or jacket will not suffice in place of a mask. #Sorry not sorry. But shout out to all the passengers who have had their mask on when I arrive. You all are the real MVPs! 2. Alcoholic beverages are not permitted in my vehicle. It’s crazy that I even have to mention this, especially since open containers of alcohol are prohibited in an operating car in every state and applies to all licensed drivers. However, here we are because some people think the rules don’t apply to them. Now don’t get me wrong, I love a good cocktail as much as anyone, but do you really think that drink is worth compromising someone’s livelihood if they were to be pulled over. If you read that sentence and are now questioning the odds of Ubers and Lyfts getting pulled over, then I’m definitely talking to you and you’re the reason why I even have to mention this at all. Furthermore, I’ve spent years as a server in a bar, bartender and restaurant manager and know for a fact that you cannot enter an establishment with a drink in tow. So why do it? It’s also extremely bad form to take a bar’s glassware from said bar in the first place and then have the actual audacity to get into someone’s car who is trying to get you home safely. Riddle me this, Batman. How do you really expect to drink your overpriced hangover inducer if you agreed to the terms and conditions by having your mask on and wearing it properly for the entirety of the ride? 3. Please don’t ask me or any driver to go to a drive thru on a Friday or Saturday night. I get paid to drive and it’s bad enough to have to wait for people to start the ride they asked me for in the first place. The weekends are what make this job worth it and having to stop and wait for you to get food is not my idea of a good night. I get the oil from the French fries will lead to a better morning, but sadly I didn’t tell you to take that last Vegas Bomb so it should not have to be my problem. In the age of Doordash, Uber Eats, Postmates, etc., I can honestly say stopping at a drive-thru is not my job or my ministry. I’m also sorry to report that your food will most likely be cold by the time you get to your destination, because you can’t eat it if you’ve agreed to the terms and conditions of wearing a mask properly for the entirety of the trip. Do you see the trend here? 4. Sharing is caring Let’s throw it back to the days of yore when our elementary teachers taught us all one of the greatest lessons we have ever learned. If you don’t have enough to share with the entire class, don’t bother to bring it. Same rules apply today. In the event you order a round trip ride to the store or if your multi-destination trip includes going to a drive through on a Wednesday morning before going to work, please ask your driver if you can get them anything. My response will always be no but simply asking does take some of the distain out of having to wait for you when entities like Doordash, Uber Eats, Postmates, etc., exist. 5. You will get charged up to $250 for vomiting. I don’t make the rules, but thems the rules. I will verbally let you know about this if you enter my vehicle green in the gills because knowledge is power and I will pull over if need be. I will also give you a plastic bag IF I have one in my car, but no promises. That said, l barely deal with my own bodily fluids so rest assure I’m not dealing with someone else’s and will have to get my car detailed. In addition to the vomit being the end of my work night, I will have to get it detailed before I can respectfully ask someone to sit in my back seat again. Therefore, you will be charged without remorse. That wasn’t so bad, was it? All in all, these are pretty simple guidelines to adhere to and pretty easy to follow if it means getting to spend another holiday with family and friends. Now this is not he gambit of items I would like to address but this is a starting point to which we all can be respectful to one another. Now that I think of it, I did miss one crucial item. Singing and conversing will always be encouraged. Especially if either of those pertain to Mariah Carey! Happy Holidays and I look forward to getting you to your destination safe and sound.

The healthcare industry is one of the most debated concerns in this country and that was before a global panasonic. Varying issues ranging from accessibility to healthcare, implicit and explicit biases as well as lack of trust in the healthcare system inclusively plague many patients who, in their most vulnerable state, seek medical care. Those without these concerns must still circumvent preventable medical errors in order to receive the optimal care worthy of our collective and technological advancements. Usually, people who receive this level of care have two things in common. They are white and male. A utopian dream or a medical facility completely staffed by hundreds of Rosies from the Jetsons is the closest women, intersex, and the global majority will get to receiving unbiased healthcare if we don’t advocate for ourselves now. Everyone deserves the same access and treatment to healthcare. Naturally, a person’s gender and heredity play crucial roles in the type of care someone needs over their lifetime. However, the healthcare system in this country has traditionally been based on the developments, research and experiments conducted by white men, because they were the only ones allowed to take part in the distinguished role of doctor or physician. Subsequently, many previous research studies included males and focused entirely on the ailments of that gender and continuously assumed their findings will translate across the board spectrum of all humans. Treatment of Women This way of thinking is the catalyst to the previous and increasing disparities in healthcare between genders that serves to negatively affect the medical treatment given to women. Even if we take away the fact that men, particularly white men, deem it acceptable to legislate the female body, healthcare providers still manage to exist within a paradox based on antiquated cultural ideologies that believe women, simply due to their gender, are more vulnerable to disease and death than their male counterparts, while simultaneously thinking the solution to this can be found in their own knowledge of the male human body rather than listening to their female patients. Ironically, women are on average are more likely to seek medical care, more resistant to disease and debilitating conditions than men due to lifestyle habits and lower alcohol consumption. In other words, the implicit or explicit biases that contribute to gender disparity in healthcare are the same as every other form of inequality in this country. The standard of care given in medicine is perceived through knowledge and accessibility to that information. Although the primary leading cause of death for both men and women of all races is heart disease, a Harvard study concluded education and awareness for women on the subject is considerably lower due to research being primarily conducted on men. The same study also showed the typical symptoms of heart disease are based on those experienced by men and healthcare providers often misdiagnose women because their symptoms manifest differently. Consequently, women are less likely prescribed preventative medications and lifesaving procedures. Thus, the power of awareness, knowledge and accessibility, like most power that perpetuates inequality, resides within the boys club. Treatment of Intersex Individuals Specifically, implicit bias of intersex individuals demonstrates how powerful the component of awareness is within the healthcare system. The term intersex applies to those whose physical sex characteristics at birth or the onset of puberty present differently than the orthodox idea of male and female anatomy. Since the medical field of the mid twentieth century primarily comprised of one particular group of people, the standard of what it meant to be born a boy or a girl depended solely on their implicit bias. Beginning in the 1960s as unproven psychologist recommendations increased, as many as 1 in 5,000 newborn babies braved non-life threating operations to internal and external genitalia that were simply based according to the implicit beliefs of how traditionally genders should appear. A number of times parents were involved with doctors in assigning the infant’s gender, but often this decision was made without the consent of postpartum parents and obviously without the awareness of the person affected. The number of unnecessary surgical procedures on newborns has decreased in recent years with the assistance of advocacy groups who by their own efforts have brought awareness to this issue. Mainly because the doctors who were so aware of what it means to be male or female were unaware and completely oblivious to the fact that these surgeries would result in inaccurate gender assignment, loss of sexual sensation, sterilization, scarring, chronic pain, and chronic incontinence. Don’t feel bad if this is your first time hearing or learning about intersex people or that the rate of intersex individuals is comparable to that of natural redheads. The implicit desire by previous and current healthcare providers to keep this topic under wraps further demonstrates the power and importance that awareness plays for those within the profession and how it prevents an inclusive approach to what encompasses over 60 conditions. If everyone were aware of this occurrence, then this issue would be a collaborative effort between physician and patient based on objective reasoning and no longer a subjective methodology based on playing God. Luckily, institutions such as the Ann & Robert H. Lurie Children’s Hospital of Chicago and Boston’s Children’s Hospital declared in 2020 that they would no longer participate in intersex surgeries on those too young to give their consent. However, it is of worth to note that the male dominated field of medicine still favors biological men to the point where higher success rates of gender assignment surgeries occur more so in male to female procedures simply because of the antiquated view that believes it is easier to make a hole rather than a pole. Treatment of Black Women Although implicit biases are fundamental to the lack of inclusivity and awareness given to those outside the medical field, explicit biases fueled by incorrect and archaic knowledge continue to plague Black females seeking healthcare. Unfortunately, much of the treatment Black women receive currently is based off the inhumane beliefs and experimentations of enslaved African people. White doctors, especially males, are to Black women what white police officers are to Black men. It is commonplace that some white police officers have a tendency to view Black individual males and Black men in groups as gang members. Similarly, white doctors have a tendency to hyper sexualize Black women as well as view them as less intelligent due to ideas created during the enslavement of Africans and their descendants. Dr. Colene Arnold, a gynecologist who specializes in pelvic pain disorders, recounted a study that found Black women are less likely to be diagnosed for endometriosis than white women when experiencing pain, and instead, misdiagnosed as having pelvic inflammatory disease, which is typically sexually transmitted. The slavery-era belief that Black people were hypersexual and simultaneously less intelligent than white people also continues to impact the care that Black women receive currently. Keisha Ray, an assistant professor at the McGovern Center for Humanities and Ethics demonstrated this idea by asserting, “When we look at patient testimonies, particularly from Black women, we’re seeing that these typical tropes are used…that they are hyper sexualized and that if they have some sort of illness or pain, that it’s likely self-inflicted in a sense that they did something wrong,” (Rao, 2020). In modern day terms this is equivalent to a 12 year old Black child being shot and killed by those sworn to “protect and serve” for playing with a fake, imitation gun because Black men are “known” to be gang members (rest in paradise Tamir Rice). One can only deduce then that much of the medical treatments of Black women have absolutely nothing to do with their symptoms, medical history, or even their current physical condition but solely on unproven stereotypes. Dr. Arnold furthered her comments by asserting, “With Black women there is an assumption that they don’t know their bodies, that they don’t understand, that they’re not educated about their bodies.” The noticeable error of these misconceptions is that Black women are punished and treated in terms of what is stereotypically “known” and believed about what they lack while those with years of education do not have to account for their blatant outdated prejudices. This is especially disheartening when education data conclusively shows Black women are the most educated group in America. I’m not a doctor but even I can see how humans who bleed for five to seven days a month every month for decades and not die would have different health concerns than those who don’t. Furthermore, I understood how this bloody phenomenon affects not only the reproductive system but also the endocrine, digestive, integumentary and nervous systems before it ever happened to me merely by living with my mother and two older sisters. So why does it take four year of undergrad, four years of medical school and three to seven years of residency to consider those who have the astonishing ability to carry and deliver an entire human being also have the capability of knowing when their bodies don’t feel right and this is also independent of their race? So how did these unjust and explicit biases begin? Many consider the gynecological work of Dr. James Marion Sims during the 19th century as one of the main culprits. The Alabama physician conducted numerous experimental surgeries without anesthesia or consent on enslaved African women, which unfortunately resulted in the continued misconceptions of how Black women experience pain. Meanwhile, Sims preformed the same surgeries on white women with anesthesia under the unethical premise that enslaved women, due to their everyday arduous workload, were strong enough to endure those procedures naturally. It seems unfathomable that a clear unethical idea birthed from colorism could root itself in an entire profession for over 150 years. Sad to say but it has and it’s not the only one. “A 2016 study found that nearly half of first year and second year medical students believed that Black people have thicker skin than white people, and perceived Black people as experiencing less pain than white people” (Rao, 2020). This reprehensible belief, created by another 19th century physician and wealthy plantation owner named Thomas Hamilton whose experiments involved torturing an enslaved Black man named John Brown, created blisters all over his body in an effort to prove Black skin went deeper than white skin. The experiments conducted by these men during the days of slavery might have an ounce of validity considering the lack of commonsensical acumen and irrational credence of superiority that rivals only Dr. Moreau. However, there is no logical explanation for its existence today with all the technological, medical and psychological advancements of the 21st century. “A 2019 study published in the American Journal of Emergency Medicine analyzed data from 14 previously published studies on pain management and found that Black patients were 40% less likely to receive medication for acute pain compared to white patients and 34% less likely to be prescribed opioids,” (Rao, 2020). The only good thing that ever came out these unwarranted torturous experiments is that Black people can in no way ever be attributed to or blamed for the opioid crisis. In the event you question my hypothesis that explicit biases are rooted in racist methodological and that this phenomenon still exists in medicine toady, then take the words from my best friend in my head, Wanda Sykes “Not Normal” stand up special. If that doesn’t make you stop for a second to say, “What’s up, Doc” then also consider Black people have the highest infant mortality rate of any racial or ethnic group in this country and Black women are three times likely to die of pregnancy related issues than white women. It’s even more discouraging to note, “60% of all pregnancy-related deaths can be prevented with better health care and communication,” as stated by Dr. Anne Schuchat, principal deputy director of the C.D.C. Ironically, these disparities are often the result of racism and sexism that cause stressors during crucial developmental periods, that trigger chains of biological processes that threaten their lives as well the their infants’ lives. It’s hard to believe that listening and treating a woman with respect and dignity would aid in the successful delivery of their child but it’s true and something I can wholeheartedly attest to. Picture this. Kentucky 1980 something. It was a beautiful spring morning, and my very pregnant mother was tending to her precious rose garden, when she inadvertently watered her flowers organically. My precautious father drove to the hospital and immediately checked into a room in the labor and delivery ward. This being her third child, the contractions were quite close together and she dilated significantly to the point that my father explained the unborn child was coming exceedingly fast when the doctor came to examine her. The doctor, still in his street clothes, rest assured my parents that the baby wouldn’t arrive for a couple hours at least and left to attend to other patients. Roughly, forty-five minutes later, my father grabbed the first nurse he could find, pulled them into the room and showed them the baby’s head protruding from my mother. The doctor nonchalantly returned minutes later surprised to see the baby’s head and neck. With no time for anesthesia or for the doctor to change into scrubs and gloves, they rolled my mother down the hall towards the delivery room. They never made it. The bare handed doctor delivered me right there in the middle of the fourth floor hallway of the hospital where my mother worked as psych nurse two floors above. She slept for three days straight and experienced a mild case of postpartum depression while I spent my first hours in the NICU with a gnarly case of jaundice and the words “Unsterile Birth” forever on my birth certificate simply because a doctor, who never gave birth, thought he knew more than the words and experience of his patient. What Do We Do Now I haven’t brought all this evidence to the forefront for nothing. I wanted to make sure women, intersex individuals and people of color, also known as the global majority, are aware that inclusivity in healthcare doesn’t exist for us but there are ways for us to change this. Primarily, preventative measures are the number one way to avoid being at the hands of a system still rooted in sexism and racism. Know your body and regulate your health by getting regular check-ups. I’ve noticed I receive better care during annual visits than when something is actually wrong. It’s the same jovial treatment I receive when getting an oil change or tire rotation versus the cold shoulder treatment when getting my brakes fixed or new tires. Secondly, record any symptoms in a notebook when they appear. Even with preventative maintenance, things still occur and that the best way to communicate what’s going on is to have detailed evidence of the changes in your body. Also, pain has a way of eliminating important details from the mind and writing things down in the moment can aid in a correct diagnosis. That said; don’t wait until something big happens to seek help. If nothing else, reach out to that family member who is a nurse or healthcare professional and tell them about what you’re experiencing as well as the documented happenings. In the event you have to seek medical care, please know that you have rights as a patient. As a matter of fact, you can find the Patient’s Bill of Rights on Google. These rights apply to everyone assert your right to choose healthcare providers who give you high-quality healthcare when you need it. In other words, you have every right to speak up and ask for another provider if you suspect they are not listening to you, are discriminating against you or not treating you with emergency services due to authorization or financial reasons. However, the same Patient’s Bill of Rights includes consumer responsibilities that have to be mentioned. Naturally, we as patients must also treat healthcare providers with respect and honesty. It is also our job as a patient to take responsibility for our health and exercise, eat well and limit toxins in our body. The best way to currently take responsibility for your health is to get a Covid-19 vaccine. I know plenty of people who are unvaccinated for many reasons, but if you are a woman or apart of the global majority, you really don’t have the freedom of taking your chances if you do acquire the virus. It also doesn’t make sense for me as a Black woman to avail myself to a virus that would put me in the midst of racism and sexism with an apparatus down my throat preventing me from speaking up for myself. For those that use the Tuskegee Experiment as a justification to not get it, this is the exact opposite of what happened then. Blacks were given syphilis and were denied treatment of it so doctors could evaluate the effects. In this case, the same vaccine is being given to everyone with the only difference being if you get it from Pfizer or Moderna. I could go on for days about this topic with historical evidence that demonstrates the lack of inclusivity in healthcare, thus, to say the opposite is the biggest oxymoron of our current time. Although unfortunate, implicit and explicit biases rooted in sexism and racism are still prevalent throughout our country. I’m aware of the many global majority members that are doing their part to change this fact but awareness of the problem by the masses is key and advocating for our rights as patients in healthcare settings is essential. Additional Resources: Roni Caryn Rabin https://www.nytimes.com/2019/05/07/health/pregnancy-deaths-.html?.?mc=aud_dev&ad-keywords=auddevgate&gclid=CjwKCAjw49qKBhAoEiwAHQVTo5kSHtlDCUMEKy7VW3sgeQmpE04mxjokeQoyeyey1zOjcg_oxJ6xvBoCwDEQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds Vidya Rao https://www.today.com/health/implicit-bias-medicine-how-it-hurts-black-women-t187866

Appropriation and Entertainment What comes to your mind when seeing the words “spirit fingers”? Hopefully, it’s the image of teenage Kirsten Dunst and fellow affluent classmates dressed in red and black cheerleading uniforms parading through the air in embarrassment with whimsically wiggling fingers and over exaggerated facial expressions. If not, just know the 2000’s Bring It On gave us our greatest lesson in phalangeal exercise as well as providing a prime example in cultural appropriation vs. appreciation. To recap, the cult classic tells the tale of cheerleading captain (Dunst), who uncovers her team’s championship dynasty, is the product of stolen routines creatively choreographed by an inner city Black high school cheer squad. Mind you, Dunst’s predecessor made a regular habit out of inappropriately taking the intellectual property of another team simply because the originators couldn’t afford to go to the championship, thus preventing any accusations of stealing and appropriating. This is cultural appropriation in action. The known or unknown taking of cultural aspects originally derived from a group of marginalized people, by a dominant or entitled class. Although there are ways to incorporate and show appreciation for other cultures, appropriation involves selecting particular elements from a specific culture and ignoring the rest, while condemning the same disenfranchised people of that culture for the ignored and often times even the same elements. Cultural Appropriation in Western society is seen through every facet of entertainment ranging from fashion, sports, beauty and music. This is not a current trend or an act that is the result of social media, rather it a historic practice that continues to unjustly and even illegally take traditions, speech, beliefs and physical materials that belong to another overlooked group of people. In keeping with our cinematic comparison, Dunst’s character audaciously offers the opposing Black cheerleading squad a check, given by her rich father, so the under funded team can go to the championship, where the protagonist can sleep better at night knowing her team beat the best. This act of charity may seem like sportsmanship on the surface, but to the rival captain, played by goddess Gabrielle Union, and every marginalized eye the offer was made to solely benefit the main character’s conscience and pride. I’m fully aware this was only a movie. It’s one of my favorites and resides proudly atop of my Netflix list. However, art imitates life and instances like those from a movie serve as a rose-colored window into other prevailing behaviors that exist within reality and entertainment that fail to recognize or even acknowledge the cultural and systematic disadvantages already present. For instance, Dunst’s financial offer didn’t bring awareness to the fact the school was underfunded. She might have gotten a pass if the dubious donation benefited the overall need of the entire school or serve as an opportunity to promote inclusivity between the two schools. It was another example of the longstanding backhanded gestures that continuously arise to reiterate the fact that no matter where the talent, ingenuity, cultural practices, or natural physical attributes the self-expression derives, it means nothing until it is adopted and accepted by the White masses. One of the best examples of arbitrary acceptance by White masses started with Marilyn Monroe and her iconic figure that featured a slim waist with a protruding backside back in the 1950s. Prior to this, female aesthetic traits popularized thinness of waist, nose, lips, and quite notably the buttocks. Her natural born curves changed the standards of beauty for White women, giving rise to the first butt lift in 1969. Fast forward almost five decades later and the Brazilian Butt Lift is fastest growing cosmetic surgery in the nation with 20,301 performed in 2017, and a 19% increase the following year bring the total number performed to 24,099 (Bursztynsky). Having a big bottom is and has always been apart of the ‘narrative for Black bodies’ where Black women specifically are dehumanized and made a spectacle merely because of something as uncontrollable as genetics. “The ‘othering’ of Black bodies has a very long history, dating back to Saartjie Baartman, the Hottentot Venus of the 1800s. Born in South Africa and taken to Europe at the beginning of the nineteenth century, Saartjie Baartman was famously exhibited in London and Paris to White audiences so that they could witness her unusually large buttocks and genitals, which were understood as a sign of her heightened sexual nature (Gilman, 1985; Coleman-Bell, 2006).” Frankly, I do not care what others do to their body and I am in no way condemning those who go the route of cosmetic surgery. The aforementioned statistic and historical reference simply reflects the more confusing and emotionally harmful aspect of culture appropriation; ethnic heredities are rejected and stigmatized when a marginalized person does it innately, but applause is given to those affluent enough to pay for it. Presently, Black women are looked down upon or viewed in a stereotypical negative way while Kim Kardashian and Jennifer Lopez strut their bountiful booties proudly, thus reaping all the benefits of this standard of beauty without the misconceptions aimed at their overall worth. Cultural appropriation within Western entertainment doesn’t stop at merely claiming marginalized innovations as their own, but it dives further into the appropriating depths by diminishing the impact of what the originator would’ve garnered through the prevailing act of whitewashing. A commonplace practice starting with the rise of motion pictures, whitewashing in entertainment is the deliberate act of suppressing the true expression of a cultural aspect. Back then it was Elizabeth Taylor’s portrayal of Egypt’s Cleopatra or more recently Tom Cruise as The Last Samurai. We still see it today and all the time on social media sites such as Tik Tok with predominately White social media influencers who reeled their way through quarantine and to the bank with toned down versions of trending choreographed dances created by POC. First off, if you can’t do the moves to the “Savage” challenge the way it was intended by creator Keara Wilson, just say that. Simply put, whitewashing on social media and in all forms of entertainment is synonymous to Wilson turning in an assignment for class and gets an F. Meanwhile, one of her White classmates steals Wilson’s version on the bus, hands in an almost word for word copy of it and receives an A. I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t sit right with my spirit. Think back to your first research paper and how half the time spent on the assignment was devoted to learning APA or MLA format in order to prevent plagiarizing the thoughts of others. Even paraphrases have their sources documented within the text to show appreciation for the originator. Deciphering whether or not to give credit is the easiest way to developing inclusive traits that will shift behaviors from appropriation to appreciation. Yes, this country is made up of vastly different people, cultures, beliefs and forms of self-expression. Why do we feel the need to take something in and “make it our own” versus just appreciating the fact that the art exist? Why is the first response imitation instead of inspiration that fosters growth? This is the center of recognizing, knowing and actively demonstrating appreciation for cultural attributions and not appropriating them instead. Appreciation Through Action If this seems like an overwhelming eye-opening moment, rest assure that you are not the only one and there are likely many who may feel the same. Take a breath and look at this as an opportunity to clean your slate with the invigorating lemony scent of when you know better, you can do better. Since this may your first lesson in ways to appreciate other cultures or if you’re in need of a refresher, the following sections examine the most common everyday situations and actions where you can appreciate other cultures, increase your inclusivity, and effectively stay in your lane. Let’s take it from the top and all agree that surviving the last year and a half was hard enough. Collectively, we can also all agree no one should be forced with the cringe of seeing White people with cornrows, du-rags or box braids. It doesn’t matter if you just got back from the islands or a mission trip to Africa. Get a T-shirt as a souvenir and grab some dry shampoo before you head out to do the Lord’s work. People of color utilize these types of hairstyles to protect their hair from daily damage and breakage caused by hot combs and straighteners needed to achieve workplace and the dominant society’s standards of grooming. Often times, artificial hair is added to cover the braids underneath and it’s okay to take notice of it and like your co-worker’s new longer locs. Appreciation in that moment is a simple as telling Patricia that you like her hair. If the opposite is the case and you don’t like her hair, appreciation also looks like keeping your thoughts and opinions to yourself, respectfully. Another straightforward way to appreciate the relationship between POC and their hair is to support the CROWN Act, which aims to eliminate hair discrimination and allows POC to wear their hair in natural, cultural styles. Now the following may not be an everyday issue, but every year Americans go to great lengths to show out for Halloween. Some costumes are spectacularly creative while others fall short and definitely miss the mark in terms of appreciating other cultures. Either way, a good rule of thumb is to remember that anyone can dress up like a particular character without the need to make their face darker or change their complexion. I’ve seen countless little Black girls at Disney World who get made up into princesses and not a single one has a white face when they’re done. They’re still capable of showing their love and appreciation for these leading ladies while keeping their own individual identity. Secondly, it’s imperative to consider Halloween costumes are just that, costumes. Dressing up as a Native American suggests the earliest Americans are merely characters and their scared customs and traditions are at most props for stereotypical representation. Furthermore, cultural garments and headdresses often depict particular personal achievements and have significance that isn’t readily known to those outside of their culture and being ignorant of this is no longer acceptable. It’s natural to be inquisitive of another culture and appreciating their contribution to our society is as simple as learning factual historical content and taking advantage of public resources that shed light into their past. Appreciating other cultures means celebrating them all 365 days of the year and not reducing their entire existence to look cute for pictures. Unlike the specific customs and traditions that are passed down from parents to child, music is one the most universal aspects of human existence. I made a point to not discuss the appropriation of music because music has the undeniable ability to heal, transform and bring us together. Although there are a myriad of different genres and artists, each one is a derivative of what came before. There are only a limited number of notes humans can hear, so it naturally stands to reason that overlap will occur and styles will further blend together during the art of creation. Therefore, appreciating music means taking the art for what it is and letting go of the need to use such phrases like, “Elvis is the father of rock ‘n roll”. Not only is it highly inaccurate, but also the lack of inclusivity implies this genre didn’t exist prior to him. In order to best appreciate music it’s fundamental to listen to everything, including works from the past, so the listener can understand how different cultures impact current works by their favorite artists. Emotion is the basis of every song, and it’s true that certain experiences and resulting emotions can be tied to specific cultures. However, it is the emotion itself that allows music the power to convey our differences, which bring us together through acknowledgement and appreciation of our commonly shared experiences. In summation, cultural appropriation and appreciation are opposite concepts that have to power to further divide or bring us together. Respecting our differences as well as learning about other cultures is how we bridge the gap between them versus we. Understanding that sacred cultural traditions and customs to marginalized people are often the only or last part of identifying to their roots better unifies us all as we continuously strive from inclusivity. Sources: Instagram vanity drives record numbers of Brazilian butt lifts as millennials fuel plastic surgery boom: Bursztynsky, Jessica. https://www.cnbc.com/2019/03/19/millennials-fuel-plastic-surgery-boom-record-butt-procedures.html This big bum thing has taken over the world: Considering Black women’s changing view on body image and the role of celebrity. https://eprints.kingston.ac.uk/id/eprint/36145/1/Appleford-K-36145-AAM.pdf TikToker Keara Wilson, who created Megan Thee Stallion’s “Savage” challenge, earns her copyrights Sweenie Saint-Vil https://www.revolt.tv/news/2021/7/30/22602202/tiktoker-keara-wilson-earns-copyrights

I Am Not a Strong Black Woman You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. -Maya Angelou The late, great American poet laureate and civil rights activist acclaimed audiences with her ability to unravel the complexities of womanhood, cultural disparities and the human condition through poems, essays, movies and television shows. Many argue Maya Angelou’s talent for capturing the essence of pain, grief, strength, freedom, and hope was the result of being a strong Black woman grappling with the effects of being raped as a child in the Jim Crow South. Unfortunately, this argument and the ever increasing blanketed use of “strong Black woman” to describe any respectable Black woman in America, focuses and immortalizes the singular aspect of prevailing struggle while failing to acknowledge all of the phenomenal soft, feminine attributes we as Black women innately possess; thus negating any positive praise the assumed compliment could provide. As such, it is with great self-love, ancestral pride and conviction that I say, I am not a strong black women. Before you go revoking my Black card or throwing me out to the proverbial pasture with the likes of Candace Owens and Stacey Dash, I know and have experience in the strength required to even make it to feminine adulthood while Black. A Georgetown Law study found presently and throughout this country’s history, Black girls are believed to be more mature, independent, and aware of adult subject matters to the extent where they need less protection, nurturing, support and comforting than their same aged white peers, (law.georgetown.edu). These damaging beliefs serve as an adultification that produces a lack of empathy for Black girls which shortens their childhood innocence and threatens their overall lives. My childhood innocence came to an abrupt stop at the tender age of six, even though I grew up Huxtable Black in a two-parent household with a retired U.S. Army drill Sargent father and an active duty Lt. Colonel mother. Picture this, Alabama, 1989. All the kids on my street walked home from school together and one of the girls asked if I wanted to come over to her house to play, as we often did a couple times of the week. I made my way two houses down to my friend’s house only to find her tall brown wooden fence locked from the inside and the unmistakable sound of giggling girls trying to quiet themselves as though they were under the cloak of invisibility. I knocked on the fence as hard as my delicate six-year-old hand could for what felt like an eternity. To my surprise, the voice of the mean girl that nobody played with anymore because we all moved on to first grade while she repeated kindergarten said, “We don’t play with n***ers”! As the only Black first grader who lived on the street, I walked home bewildered yet inquisitive like any other child who tried to figure out the meaning of a new word without asking its definition. My mother, suspired to see me return from my play date so soon questioned my arrival, to which I nonchalantly asked what the strange and unfamiliar term meant. The next hour was spilt between my parents trying to explain 400 years of hatred and white supremacy while trying to hold back the tears of repeating a lecture they received entirely too early as well. After that intense hour of anguish and loss of progressive hope, years later the “sex talk” was a breeze. I was one of the lucky ones though. My parents were able to protect me from the perils of adultification and over sexualization most Black female teenagers face by sending my sister and I to an all girls international college prep boarding school ran by St. Benedictine nuns for all four years of high school. Maybe it was the school’s mantra of “Preparing Young Women for Leadership”, or just the incessant scent of Herbal Essence proliferating the dormitory halls that softened my spirit. Either way, it was the first and only time I was free and comfortable enough to exist in my own femininity not as a girl, not yet a woman, (#FreeBritney). I was comforted and supported as homesick tears fell down my face. Detention and other punishments were given to me for what I did instead of who I was and represented. I was gifted the ability of self-exploration to define what femininity meant solely to me and how to nourish the gentle, delicate, emotional realms of my beautiful womanly nature like a Disney princess singing in a forest with no need or reason to be strong. That’s why I am so confident in knowing I am not a strong Black woman. I am so many other splendid characteristics that the need to be strong is as necessary as Prince Charming swooping up to take me away to a life condemned with male fragility and misogyny. I have no desire to be labeled as such because it is a dehumanizing tool of manipulation that weaponizes the experience and emotions of Black women. Consider the way we as humans over fill anything we associate with being strong. We will sit on a smaller suitcase and break a sweat to zip it instead of just getting a bigger a one because the little one is strong, can handle the extra strain and the added convenience of not having to check a big bag. Everything is fine until you remove it from the TSA conveyor belt and the handle rips right off and becomes more of an inconvenience than the proper big suitcase. Now you’re in the airport cursing the day you bought the bag instead of taking responsibility for putting too much on it. This is what it is like to be called a strong Black woman in America. The overfilled luggage did not over stuff itself just as Black women did not ask to be diminished with criticism and scrutiny while merely trying to exist. To make matters worse, the unfair and false assumption that Black women can handle whatever this country throws at them, only serves to then punish Black women when we resist and try to change this narrative. Usually the long standing abuse, pain, exhaustion and lack of support this produces, naturally rise to the surface and we are then further reduced to the only other role Black women seemingly have in this country: The Angry Black Woman. Hence why inclusion is so important. We all need the ability to determine the narrative for ourselves in order to preserve our peace of mind and mental health. Which is why it’s imperative to us all that we not only recognize and respect each other as individuals, not merely apart of a particular group, but also to rewrite narratives with an antiracist feminist approach. This includes having conversations with female POC and asking us how we want to be perceived. I do not speak for all Black women, but I can guarantee “strong” will not be in the top five or even ten adjectives used. We do not need to reduce ourselves to the countless unjust and unwarranted experiences we have no other choice to delicately overcome. So the next time you see a bright-eyed Black girl simply being a child or a Black woman brimming with self-love and confidence, implore antiracist feminism rhetoric to your thought process. Push past any ideas that look to characterize her through the nation’s history and underserved negative stereotypes. Seek to understand her as she understands herself, whatever that may be, and give her the grace to take up space as who she is and not by the uncontrollable factors she was forced to overcome. Allow the Black girl to exist in the fleeting joy of childhood innocence. See that woman as the divine and sacred being that all women in this world naturally are at birth. More importantly, start a conversation and revile in the refined graceful elegancy you both share. I promise, you will not be disappointed!

It's Asian American & Pacific Islander Heritage Month! Here are a couple of the orgs that we want to encourage you to give to this month, every month, & any time! Doing your own research is vital, so take the time to look into them & find other orgs you want to support too. While we love to celebrate the specified months & days that elevate diverse communities & cultures, we also recognize the need for support year round & highly recommend it. So give these orgs a follow & keep up with the work they’re continuously doing. Consistency is part of advocacy & necessary to achieve justice & reform. #aapiheritagemonth #i+u=me That's why inclusiveWe® will be giving a percentage of everything sold to the organizations we get behind. We want to make sure we're consistent & transparent always. Full transparency on what percentage & where it is going will be listed on our website once it’s live again. Asian Mental Health Collective- https://www.asianmhc.org Center for Asian Pacific American Woman - https://apawomen.org Stop AAPI Hate - https://stopaapihate.org AAPI Women Lead - https://www.imreadymovement.org Asian American Legal Defense & Education Fund - https://www.aaldef.org